The Discretion of Hypertrophic Romance
There is love and then there are the infinite ways to do it.
play romantic chess, boldy, and then do it gently. dial the cortex up and then demand it down.
go shopping. once a month. do it differently. spree once, calculate another. thrift, department, facebook marketplace strictly, then go through your neighbors closet.
Pretend like you know how to play badgammon, and score bonus points, if without making it a big deal, you are both wearing sweaters, yours half a decade beat in, hers a turtleneck that makes her very librarian
look at cars together, and buy her favorite car in hotwheels format
In the shadows, Sponsor a hotwheels track at your chillest cafe and then have a hotwheels date.
Spin the globe, pick a spot, learn that language together.
cycling, then another time, beach cruisering on the boardwalk
teach her how to surf
let her teach you how to ride horses.
Find a hotel bar that has a bartender named Jeeves, and that’ll be the only place you ever need to go to get drinks.
Then buy a ranch somewhere unbothered in California, ride horses, waves, and each other in the same morning. spend all afternoon drinking smoothies and pretending to play badgammon.
Try this on Shabbat: set the stage, “we can only speak to each other in our native languages” (works best if you both are global noble) *handbook on Global Noblism incomplete at this time*
Tennis and Golf outings. It does not matter if you are good, as long as your wife is hot and you both are dressed like you care about humanity, all will go very well. The test is actually just if you show up, and can handle yourself emotionally for a few hours, and then lose yourself performatively for a moment for everyone’s entertainment.
Handpolish a heartshaped, very jade-like rock that you found after surfing
Silent reading time in underwear many times per week.
Massages and acrobatic yoga many times per week.
make a moodboard and get dedicated to printing out the pictures you take (output of film photography should be 95% or more)
Suggest paying a super 8 camera specialist to join y’all on a foreign adventure
Twister. You should (by now) have a well-dedicated stretching mobility kung fu room - Use it.
Order things for each other on the internet but as a surprise.
Be funny, Laugh everyday.
Have meetings that are both about financial stability and financial creativity.
Leave a soccerball behind and bring her to the park at night and say “if I score this goal, one of us has to get naked, and it’s not going to be me”
Make breakfast you’ve never made before one morning with nothing but a white t shirt and white socks on. listen to what she says and how she says it.
Nibble at her jugs in your nonbluetooth non-homogenous blob of car that has bench seats before going to see Bullitt in an old theater run by an old timer named Jeremiah.
Cloud watch, stargaze, sun nude, bathe in moonlight, witness waves
Quote The Sundance Kid
Have atleast one super regal leather seating system in the house (Tuesday’s Only)
Do not let each other atrophy in mind body or soul
Watch her make pottery
She drives you around the city for your monthly gonzo-filmphoto journalism
Go somewhere new for the winter
Go somewhere refreshing for the summer.
Stay put in the spring, and commit to excellence in the fall.
She seats towards you while you dirtbike across a barren dirt field on the eve of the fourth of july.
Buy the special ingredients needed to make your nightly fire different colors.
Buy and use the special ingredients to achieve extremely healthy hormone function
Do something she would never expect in the very same day you make the bed like you always do, everyday.
let her know when you’ll be hanging in a doorway so she can watch you smoke a filterless cig whilst in boxer briefs
Kick her out of the theater room when she says “Transformers 1 again??”
Build her a birdhouse, and then sometime later when you catch her really admiring it, go grab your submachine gun that you could only get by having such a good friend in the military.
It must enjoy you to the core when she has an emotional breakdown - remain unfazed.
batting cages tennis courts shooting range driving range bookstore
Talk financial victory and act accordingly
When private grow operations spark up again, have a teenage drug dealer come to the front door and buy that homegrown kush that comes in a ziploc bag right infront of her. Roll a couple green darts and listen to something brazilian.
Be present, but also be hallucinating
Go live in the bush for a month with your buddies. While you’re gone, pay a neighborhood youngster to mail your woman some love letters you have backlogged. Call her from the hospital on the day before your scheduled return to tell her that “everything is fine, we just wanted to hang out with the make-a-wish kids”.
Be honest about why you continue to love her and why you began.
Appreciate how pretty, brilliant, wealthy, and creative you both are individually and as a global noble duo.
Verify hip health and homeostasis
Demonstrate how agile you are. Witness her societal charisma. Leave room in your days for luck to have a threeway with you. Study your library in librarian outfits. Drink mead and go camping to play with your perception. Wrestle to increase strength. Endure together. Be rich together. Be quiet and be alone so that you may be Genius when you share something new.
Have enough dough so that you can cruise through a long spa vacation and agree to be silent the whole time.
Aggressively shutdown stress, yet still encounter stressful situations
Buy each other a lofty warehouse and fill it. Who’s design do you prefer?
Another roadtrip.
Create mini versions of yourselves with intent to allow for freedom to experience and self upgrade - be the best parents the world has ever seen
Continue the game, of love, purely, out of love for the game.
-P J K
